Mistakes and Choices

A mistake repeated, again and again, becomes a choice.

Years ago, I had a...situation...with a colleague that reminded me of this learning. This human was making a mistake he had made multiple times before, being underhanded in a way that served his personal interests, then playing the well-meaning buffoon when I respectfully clarified his "misunderstanding" on a group video call with several of his peers (and several other departments, and my boss, and his boss), all of whom were already crystal clear on the process and more than happy to be collaborative with my team.

They didn't have any questions when I finished.

Said human proceeded to call me immediately after said meeting to apologize profusely, starting with "please excuse me while I remove my foot from my mouth."

Charming enough, and while I do appreciate an apology, it left me wondering about the decisions we make and the ramifications of those decisions, the ripples they create as they expand outward. This situation was kicked off by a choice he made.

A mistake, repeated again and again, becomes a choice. 
Life is choices.

Or as my mom used to say to us when we were teenagers,"Don't be sorry. Be right." 
(Which once made my loves-to-talk-back sister reply, "well then I'm right...?" She’s a lawyer now. Obviously.)

The whole interaction left me wanting to make better choices, left me looking for places I could be even more clear, to fill in the gaps in the hopes that fewer and fewer people would misconstrue my directions. People like him don't mean to - in fact, I maintain that in the grand scheme of things, they mean well - but as humans, we are all focused on ourselves. It is how we are built.

The point isn't to change humanity.
The point is to stretch ourselves to account for how humanity works.

The point is to recognize that while this isn't a linear process, we can get better and better at it over time. The point is to be okay with the fact that growth happens in the dips, not the peaks.

Play to play.

Also, the point is to never let them see you sweat.
He knew he had done wrong. I remained hopeful he will get better because I'd seen him do better. I didn't need to belabor the point. 

At the end of the day, the people who change the world are focused on outcomes, not egos.

So I gave my ego a pat on the head. And then I kept my head up.

Stay curious out there.